Hello, fine guest of distinguished taste! I can tell by your monocle and pipe that you are a consumer of the arts. You are an endangered species, my friend. But, worry not! If you are an endangered species, then this establishment is your wildlife sanctuary…welcome to MoFA!
What is MoFA you ask, while pouring yourself a glass of cognac (or at least I assume because, again, you are a person of fine, FINE taste). Allow me to begin the introduction. MoFA, or the Museum of Fake Artists, is a museum specifically made to house art created during sessions of the wonderful board game, A Fake Artist Goes to New York. What is A Fake Artist Goes to New York, you ask while dipping some crackers in caviar to complement that cognac from earlier because you, again, are just the classiest person? Well allow me to break character to very briefly explain the rules!
A Fake Artist Goes To New York is a party game for 5-10 people that can best be described as Pictionary meets Spyfall. In the game, players are going to be collaborating on a picture together based on a prompt given by a Game Master (who rotates every round). For example, maybe the Game Master wants the players to draw a helicopter. Every player will get a little whiteboard that has the word ‘helicopter’ with the exception of one person who gets a giant ‘X’ on their board. This person is the Fake Artist and their job is to avoid having the other players from sussing out who they are. Once everybody gets their prompt (or ‘X’), they begin taking turns drawing on a piece of paper, adding bits and pieces to the drawing that slowly takes form. At round’s end, everyone votes on who they think the Fake Artist was, based on who added what to the drawing. If the Fake Artist is correctly accused, they still get one more chance to win by correctly guessing what the Game Master’s original prompt was. Thus, this gives the other players incentive to try and draw as vaguely as possible while letting others know that they are aware of what the prompt is (again, much like the aforementioned Spyfall). Okay, let’s get back in character, one moment, just pinning my Van Dyke goatee back on…
Back to business! As one can expect, this very simple rule set not only produces hours of hilarious fun but also some incredible art. That is why the MoFA was built. Such art deserves a place on the internet to shine. After all, the internet offers nothing but the best and brightest!
On this tour of the first ever exhibit of the MoFA, I will show you some art that was drawn during games of A Fake Artist Goes to New York and offer some brief insight into the history of each picture. The backstories are rich and will only make you appreciate these masterpieces that much more.
So if you are ready to begin the tour, you may mount your segway and follow me through the grand doors, into the 1st ever exhibit of the MoFA!
Ahh, let’s begin with a topical work of art. As of the time of this tour, Avengers: Endgame is just a few weeks away from hitting theatres and moviegoers will soon find out how all the ‘dead’ heroes are brought back to life to satisfy the fact that they all have movie sequels to be apart of. The villain of that story, Thanos, is the subject of this portrait.
One might wonder why there are no defining features of Thanos here. Where is his Infinity Gauntlet and why has it been replaced by a jai alai glove? Why does his armor look more like a wife beater? And has his face been replaced by an old timey diver’s porthole? While I would love to answer these questions, I’m afraid that would spoil the fun of art. It is up to YOU, the connoisseur of these works of art, to come up with your own interpretations. Also, because I have no clue.
Fans of villains will be excited for the next piece in our exhibit. Turns out Thanos is only the SECOND most evil person on display here! Come a bit farther to see…
Prompt: Donald Trump
As of the time of this tour, Donald Trump is the current President of the United States. While that still sounds like the opening line to a Philip K. Dick novel, it is the truth nonetheless. Let’s at least get a bit of fun out if it by looking at this not so flattering portrait of him!
There are a couple of details in this picture that the eagle eyed viewer will notice. The two tiny nubs for hands. The shock of orange hair upon a faceless bulb. The knee high wall in the corner that was probably made by Trump himself to model what he had in mind for his Mexico wall for when it never gets built. The not so subtle devil’s tail poking out from behind. I am confident this drawing is such a good representation of our Commander in Chief that you could hang this in the White House tonight and nobody would bat an eye.
Fear not, fans of this piece. The MoFA is this drawing’s one and true home. Let’s move onto something lighter and a much more beloved figure…
Prompt: Mickey Mouse
Here is one that the kiddos can really enjoy! As long as they look past the fact that this version of Mickey Mouse looks like it has a water pitcher for a body and a tiny, scrunched up toilet for a head. Otherwise, all the classic Mickey Mouse features are there! The pants with the buttons, the hunk of cheese laying nearby, a musical note hovering above his head to show that our adorable rodent friend is whistling a tune (despite not having a mouth).
This is one piece of art that does give us a bit of anxiety here at the MoFA because this looks SO much like the actual Mickey Mouse, we know it’s only a matter of time before Disney and its army of lawyers lay siege upon us like orcs storming Helm’s Deep. Come to think of it, Thanos is technically Disney property too, right? Oh dear. We’re so screwed. Enjoy this exhibit while you can, it may be our last.
On that note, let’s hurry on over to our next piece of art before it disappears under the crushing heel of litigation!
Prompt: Harry Potter
Yet another masterful representation of a pop cultural icon. In this case, it’s everybody’s favorite boy wizard…just look at that detail! Who can forget that inspiring part of the books when Harry lost his legs and replaced them with a reindeer? If you manage to soak in all the little references and Easter eggs from this picture, don’t forget to play everyone’s favorite game with this drawing: ‘Is That The Sun or Hagrid’s Floating Disembodied Head In The Corner?” You can write your answer on a slip and place it in the bowl next to the donation box at the front of the museum.
Prompt: The Big Lebowski
A cult classic movie has been transformed into a magnificent illustration in this piece. Featured here is the main character of the story and everyone’s favorite slacker, The Dude. Also pictured: bowling. No less than three bowling balls are present, just in case one wasn’t enough. Two of them appear to be surgically grafted onto The Dude’s hands because everyone knows that bowling is not just a mere sport, it is a lifestyle. Our artists understood the importance of the game to the movie’s central character and represented it as thus. And in the corner…a…bowling pin, I think? It could be a baby’s bottle, but that would make no sense and clearly there’s no place for that here!
Prompt: Robot (and also Duck, apparently)
A cautionary tale lies behind this tragic Island of Dr. Moreau-esque figure. Half robot, half duck, all abomination. This picture sprang from an unfortunate misunderstanding of the rules. As a handsome narrator explained above, the game involves a Game Master giving a bunch of players a prompt and giving the Fake Artist a simple ‘X’ so that they have no clue what to draw. In this case, the Game Master thought you give the Fake Artist a completely different prompt.
The end result? Science’s biggest mistake. One must admit, the longer you look at it, the more hauntingly beautiful it appears. The juxtaposition between the webbed feet and duck’s bill poking from the unfeeling metal of a robotic exoskeleton has had art scholars debating heavy themes such as existentialism, free will and the merits and pitfalls of an automated society.
Though we’re still not exactly sure what the hell that rubber arm popping out of its chest is.
Nobody at MoFA can explain this picture. We don’t remember the circumstances behind it, what the prompt was or why it even exists. It’s entirely possible it just came to be, born out of the hate and misery that has permeated society today.
What is wrong with this poor creature? Is it smiling? Or caught in the middle of a frown that it knows it’s not allowed to exhibit, lest its master punish it? Its ragged edges reveal a pained past made all the more fearful by its mismatched eyes.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and in this case it’s simply “ahhhh” repeated a thousand times.
And that’s unfortunately the end of this exhibit. MoFA is always looking for more pieces of art to exhibit, and if the curator is able to play more games of A Fake Artist Goes to New York perhaps this haven of art and thought can continue to thrive. For now, we hope you enjoyed your visit and implore you to tell your friends.